Most of you who will actually read this probably already know what has (and hasn't) been going on lately, but seeing as I haven't posted anything in three months, I thought an update is well past due.
For the past four months, whenever anyone asks about the adoption process, my response is usually something like, "We could get a call any day now," meaning that maybe the agency would call us to set up a match meeting with a birth mother who liked our profile and if it went well then the baby would come a few months later.
About a month ago we received a call from our social worker about a baby that had already been born. She let us know the possible ethnicities of the baby and brief medical information, and she asked if we would like our profile shown. My initial reaction was, "I'm not ready for this!" It was a HUGE wake-up call. I hadn't believed that our life could change quite so quickly. But this baby was already in the world. If this birth mother chose us, we could have a baby as soon as the next day. I had been saying it could be "any day", but I didn't realize until this first call that "any day" could literally mean today or tomorrow.
We said yes to showing our profile (the first time it had been shown to anyone) and went out and bought a car seat and stroller that very night. After all, if we were going to become parents the next day, we needed to be able to get the baby home. By the end of the next day we hadn't heard any news, but I was definitely more excited than nervous or scared. (Sean had been nothing but excited from the beginning.) It was a weird place to be, knowing and trusting that God would place this baby in his/her forever home, wondering if it would be with us or not, wondering if our lives were about to change drastically in an instant or stay exactly the same.
Over the next couple of weeks we received occasional updates letting us know that the birth mother was still making her decision. As time went on, I felt more and more certain that this was not our baby, but continued to pray for his/her birth mother and the life changing decision she faced. Eventually we learned that having her baby placed in a family that loved their dogs was of high importance, and since we have no pets right now, we knew we were no longer being considered and we later learned that she did end up choosing a family with dogs.
I feel like a lot of people think this must have been devastating for us to not be chosen, but really it wasn't that bad. We knew that if this was our baby, it would work out, and if this was not the baby God has for us, we would just move on. There are other things in this process that are by far more difficult to deal with than this "rejection" but I can write more on that later.
We've asked to be updated on the status of our profile at the end of each month, and so far, this has been the only time our profile has been shown due to factors that we have currently indicated we are not open to pursuing. However, we received another call today regarding two different situations and have said yes to one of them, so we shall see...
Whoever does read this, thanks for being interested in what's going on. It means a lot.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
And now... we wait.
It's done! We are now officially a "waiting family". We drove up to Bethany Christian Services in Fresno yesterday afternoon and handed over 8 copies of our family profile and the largest check I've ever written in my life (though the largest in this process is still yet to come) which basically emptied our "baby account". A sincere thank you again to all of those who have helped us prayerfully and financially along the way; you have truly blessed our lives and that of our future family.
Now comes the tough part - waiting. They show our profile to any birth parent(s) who fall into the scenarios we indicated in our preference survey and we pray for God to speak through our profile to the right birth parent(s) who are pregnant with the baby that He has planned for us.
Whew. We've been asked if we're nervous and I think Sean would agree with me that we have experienced many emotions thus far, but the nerves will only truly come out when we are on our way to our first meeting with a birth mother. That will definitely be something we do with God's strength alone and through no power of our own. He has provided for us in unimaginable ways every step of the way so far, and we know He will carry us through the rest.
But for now, we wait. And pray. And pray. And pray. We greatly appreciate your continued support and prayers that ultimately God will be glorified throughout this entire process and the life of our family to come.
Now comes the tough part - waiting. They show our profile to any birth parent(s) who fall into the scenarios we indicated in our preference survey and we pray for God to speak through our profile to the right birth parent(s) who are pregnant with the baby that He has planned for us.
Whew. We've been asked if we're nervous and I think Sean would agree with me that we have experienced many emotions thus far, but the nerves will only truly come out when we are on our way to our first meeting with a birth mother. That will definitely be something we do with God's strength alone and through no power of our own. He has provided for us in unimaginable ways every step of the way so far, and we know He will carry us through the rest.
But for now, we wait. And pray. And pray. And pray. We greatly appreciate your continued support and prayers that ultimately God will be glorified throughout this entire process and the life of our family to come.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Another Short Update
So, I know it's been quite awhile since I last posted anything of real substance. It has been a very busy beginning of the school year and things are finally beginning to settle in (as much as that is possible, anyway). There really hasn't been much happening on the adoption front during these past two months; therefore, this update will be quick.
One recent highlight is that we received a letter and a "certificate" last week stating that our home study is complete and we are now a waiting family, which is exciting. However, before we can be officially waiting (as in, they could call us any day with a possible match), we have to save up a little, er, a LOT more money.
So that's basically where we are. The yard sales and the monthly savings chip away at the fees a little bit at a time, but it will still be a slow process to come up with the remaining approximately $14,000. We will also apply for grants and maybe loans, but they do not seem as promising of prospects as they once seemed to be.
In general I am at peace with and excited about this journey through the adoption process, but then there are certain parts, such as feeling that we have to "buy" our baby when most other people get their babies for "free", that gets discouraging at times. However, I must remember that God's timing is SO not my timing, and His plan will always be what is best. He must get a pretty hearty chuckle out of every time I think I can do it better on my own. Ha.
One recent highlight is that we received a letter and a "certificate" last week stating that our home study is complete and we are now a waiting family, which is exciting. However, before we can be officially waiting (as in, they could call us any day with a possible match), we have to save up a little, er, a LOT more money.
So that's basically where we are. The yard sales and the monthly savings chip away at the fees a little bit at a time, but it will still be a slow process to come up with the remaining approximately $14,000. We will also apply for grants and maybe loans, but they do not seem as promising of prospects as they once seemed to be.
In general I am at peace with and excited about this journey through the adoption process, but then there are certain parts, such as feeling that we have to "buy" our baby when most other people get their babies for "free", that gets discouraging at times. However, I must remember that God's timing is SO not my timing, and His plan will always be what is best. He must get a pretty hearty chuckle out of every time I think I can do it better on my own. Ha.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Dazed and Confused
Oh my! I hadn't realized it had been over a month since my last post! Time flies when you have to go back to work and no longer have the luxury of sleeping until 8 AM then sitting at a computer for an hour or so before deciding what to do for the day. I feel like there should be so very much to say, yet as I sit here now I'm not even certain what I am going to write...
I'll begin with an update. We did have our individual interviews on Tuesday, July 27th. They went quite well. I went first and talked with our social worker for a little over an hour. Sean was in there for about 30 minutes. I think mine lasted longer for two reasons: there were a few questions that she didn't have to ask both of us (like the size of our house, number of bedrooms, etc.) and also because we're girls. There were several times that she would ask about my thoughts/feelings on a particular subject and then she would go on to recount her experience of when she was in my shoes. I also tend to be far from concise in my storytelling (my apologies if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of my lengthy tales). We left the interviews with an appointment for a home visit scheduled and all of the necessary information for completing our family profile (yay!).
Our home visit happened almost two weeks ago on the first day of school, August 12th. Talk about a good motivation to clean your house from floor to ceiling! Our house would be much more presentable from day to day if someone came to inspect it once a month. We stored all of our medication and cleaning supplies out of reach, got some electrical outlet plugs, and cleaned out the office/junk room which will soon be turning into a nursery. It's super exciting to have all of the STUFF out of the way and to be able to picture where furniture will go.
I have been working on our profile, the portfolio we put together with information about us, a letter to the potential birth parents, and lots and lots of pictures, since July 27th. I'm really enjoying this scrapbooking software that I downloaded online. It's called Memory Mixer Lite. We still need to take some photos of our house and work on some formatting, but it's coming along quite nicely.
My feelings have fluctuated so much during this past month. At the time of my last post, waiting for our next round of interviews, the end couldn't have seemed farther away. As soon as our interviews were finished, the waiting period felt so close I could almost taste it (please pardon the cliche). Now, as I'm realizing we have to save/find about $15,000 more before we can put our profile out there for consideration by birth parents, I feel as though we've only just begun. Starting back to work for the school year has only added to my confusion and conflicted feelings as we look toward the future and what that means for our family-to-be. My head is constantly spinning. I am incredibly thankful that God already has it all figured out and that "all" we have to do is trust Him and give Him the opportunity to be who He is (though that is often much easier said than done).
I'll begin with an update. We did have our individual interviews on Tuesday, July 27th. They went quite well. I went first and talked with our social worker for a little over an hour. Sean was in there for about 30 minutes. I think mine lasted longer for two reasons: there were a few questions that she didn't have to ask both of us (like the size of our house, number of bedrooms, etc.) and also because we're girls. There were several times that she would ask about my thoughts/feelings on a particular subject and then she would go on to recount her experience of when she was in my shoes. I also tend to be far from concise in my storytelling (my apologies if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of my lengthy tales). We left the interviews with an appointment for a home visit scheduled and all of the necessary information for completing our family profile (yay!).
Our home visit happened almost two weeks ago on the first day of school, August 12th. Talk about a good motivation to clean your house from floor to ceiling! Our house would be much more presentable from day to day if someone came to inspect it once a month. We stored all of our medication and cleaning supplies out of reach, got some electrical outlet plugs, and cleaned out the office/junk room which will soon be turning into a nursery. It's super exciting to have all of the STUFF out of the way and to be able to picture where furniture will go.
I have been working on our profile, the portfolio we put together with information about us, a letter to the potential birth parents, and lots and lots of pictures, since July 27th. I'm really enjoying this scrapbooking software that I downloaded online. It's called Memory Mixer Lite. We still need to take some photos of our house and work on some formatting, but it's coming along quite nicely.
My feelings have fluctuated so much during this past month. At the time of my last post, waiting for our next round of interviews, the end couldn't have seemed farther away. As soon as our interviews were finished, the waiting period felt so close I could almost taste it (please pardon the cliche). Now, as I'm realizing we have to save/find about $15,000 more before we can put our profile out there for consideration by birth parents, I feel as though we've only just begun. Starting back to work for the school year has only added to my confusion and conflicted feelings as we look toward the future and what that means for our family-to-be. My head is constantly spinning. I am incredibly thankful that God already has it all figured out and that "all" we have to do is trust Him and give Him the opportunity to be who He is (though that is often much easier said than done).
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
In Addition...
I'd like to add just a bit to what Sean said yesterday...
We also greatly appreciate your praying for us which, of course, is the best thing any of us can do in any circumstance. I cannot say enough how blessed we have been and will continue to be through your involvement in this process, whether it be through prayer, donation, kind thoughts, smiles, or words of encouragement; it all means so very much to us. Even a little note or comment can do wonders for lifting my spirit especially, and for all of that, we thank you.
Through some reading I've been doing I have learned that, in general, most people who haven't had experience with adoption don't really know much about adoption apart from some common myths (which we also used to believe to be truth). We both enjoy sharing this part of our lives, but we are not always sure how to bring it up in everyday conversations. We welcome any questions you may have. :)
We also greatly appreciate your praying for us which, of course, is the best thing any of us can do in any circumstance. I cannot say enough how blessed we have been and will continue to be through your involvement in this process, whether it be through prayer, donation, kind thoughts, smiles, or words of encouragement; it all means so very much to us. Even a little note or comment can do wonders for lifting my spirit especially, and for all of that, we thank you.
Through some reading I've been doing I have learned that, in general, most people who haven't had experience with adoption don't really know much about adoption apart from some common myths (which we also used to believe to be truth). We both enjoy sharing this part of our lives, but we are not always sure how to bring it up in everyday conversations. We welcome any questions you may have. :)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Accepting Donations
Here's a post from Sean. Heather and I have almost completed the Home Study portion of this process. Once this is completed, we will be able to apply for grants and/or loans, but we will still need additional funds. Our total cost paid to Bethany Christian Services will be over twenty g's. These monies go towards counseling of the birth mothers, legal fees/paperwork, and other good things. Heather could probably explain that better. Anyway - there is now a "donate" button in the right margin that would allow anyone to contribute to our cause through PayPal. ANY donation would be greatly appreciated by myself, my wife, and our yet to be determined child(ren). Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.
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