It's done! We are now officially a "waiting family". We drove up to Bethany Christian Services in Fresno yesterday afternoon and handed over 8 copies of our family profile and the largest check I've ever written in my life (though the largest in this process is still yet to come) which basically emptied our "baby account". A sincere thank you again to all of those who have helped us prayerfully and financially along the way; you have truly blessed our lives and that of our future family.Now comes the tough part - waiting. They show our profile to any birth parent(s) who fall into the scenarios we indicated in our preference survey and we pray for God to speak through our profile to the right birth parent(s) who are pregnant with the baby that He has planned for us.Whew. We've been asked if we're nervous and I think Sean would agree with me that we have experienced many emotions thus far, but the nerves will only truly come out when we are on our way to our first meeting with a birth mother. That will definitely be something we do with God's strength alone and through no power of our own. He has provided for us in unimaginable ways every step of the way so far, and we know He will carry us through the rest.But for now, we wait. And pray. And pray. And pray. We greatly appreciate your continued support and prayers that ultimately God will be glorified throughout this entire process and the life of our family to come."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
So, I know it's been quite awhile since I last posted anything of real substance. It has been a very busy beginning of the school year and things are finally beginning to settle in (as much as that is possible, anyway). There really hasn't been much happening on the adoption front during these past two months; therefore, this update will be quick.One recent highlight is that we received a letter and a "certificate" last week stating that our home study is complete and we are now a waiting family, which is exciting. However, before we can be officially waiting (as in, they could call us any day with a possible match), we have to save up a little, er, a LOT more money.So that's basically where we are. The yard sales and the monthly savings chip away at the fees a little bit at a time, but it will still be a slow process to come up with the remaining approximately $14,000. We will also apply for grants and maybe loans, but they do not seem as promising of prospects as they once seemed to be.In general I am at peace with and excited about this journey through the adoption process, but then there are certain parts, such as feeling that we have to "buy" our baby when most other people get their babies for "free", that gets discouraging at times. However, I must remember that God's timing is SO not my timing, and His plan will always be what is best. He must get a pretty hearty chuckle out of every time I think I can do it better on my own. Ha.
Oh my! I hadn't realized it had been over a month since my last post! Time flies when you have to go back to work and no longer have the luxury of sleeping until 8 AM then sitting at a computer for an hour or so before deciding what to do for the day. I feel like there should be so very much to say, yet as I sit here now I'm not even certain what I am going to write... I'll begin with an update. We did have our individual interviews on Tuesday, July 27th. They went quite well. I went first and talked with our social worker for a little over an hour. Sean was in there for about 30 minutes. I think mine lasted longer for two reasons: there were a few questions that she didn't have to ask both of us (like the size of our house, number of bedrooms, etc.) and also because we're girls. There were several times that she would ask about my thoughts/feelings on a particular subject and then she would go on to recount her experience of when she was in my shoes. I also tend to be far from concise in my storytelling (my apologies if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of my lengthy tales). We left the interviews with an appointment for a home visit scheduled and all of the necessary information for completing our family profile (yay!).Our home visit happened almost two weeks ago on the first day of school, August 12th. Talk about a good motivation to clean your house from floor to ceiling! Our house would be much more presentable from day to day if someone came to inspect it once a month. We stored all of our medication and cleaning supplies out of reach, got some electrical outlet plugs, and cleaned out the office/junk room which will soon be turning into a nursery. It's super exciting to have all of the STUFF out of the way and to be able to picture where furniture will go.I have been working on our profile, the portfolio we put together with information about us, a letter to the potential birth parents, and lots and lots of pictures, since July 27th. I'm really enjoying this scrapbooking software that I downloaded online. It's called Memory Mixer Lite. We still need to take some photos of our house and work on some formatting, but it's coming along quite nicely.My feelings have fluctuated so much during this past month. At the time of my last post, waiting for our next round of interviews, the end couldn't have seemed farther away. As soon as our interviews were finished, the waiting period felt so close I could almost taste it (please pardon the cliche). Now, as I'm realizing we have to save/find about $15,000 more before we can put our profile out there for consideration by birth parents, I feel as though we've only just begun. Starting back to work for the school year has only added to my confusion and conflicted feelings as we look toward the future and what that means for our family-to-be. My head is constantly spinning. I am incredibly thankful that God already has it all figured out and that "all" we have to do is trust Him and give Him the opportunity to be who He is (though that is often much easier said than done).
I'd like to add just a bit to what Sean said yesterday...We also greatly appreciate your praying for us which, of course, is the best thing any of us can do in any circumstance. I cannot say enough how blessed we have been and will continue to be through your involvement in this process, whether it be through prayer, donation, kind thoughts, smiles, or words of encouragement; it all means so very much to us. Even a little note or comment can do wonders for lifting my spirit especially, and for all of that, we thank you.Through some reading I've been doing I have learned that, in general, most people who haven't had experience with adoption don't really know much about adoption apart from some common myths (which we also used to believe to be truth). We both enjoy sharing this part of our lives, but we are not always sure how to bring it up in everyday conversations. We welcome any questions you may have. :)
Here's a post from Sean. Heather and I have almost completed the Home Study portion of this process. Once this is completed, we will be able to apply for grants and/or loans, but we will still need additional funds. Our total cost paid to Bethany Christian Services will be over twenty g's. These monies go towards counseling of the birth mothers, legal fees/paperwork, and other good things. Heather could probably explain that better. Anyway - there is now a "donate" button in the right margin that would allow anyone to contribute to our cause through PayPal. ANY donation would be greatly appreciated by myself, my wife, and our yet to be determined child(ren). Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.
With the completion of our CPR and First Aid course on Saturday we are officially finished with all of our Family Assessment obligations. We have our individual interviews set up for Tuesday, July 27th and hopefully we'll be able to set an appointment for our home visit soon after that. I was hoping to be able to get to work on our profile during summer vacation, but I suppose it will have to be an after school and weekend project instead.
There's not really much more to tell right now. I do feel the need to say that I do not intend for my blog to come across as me trying to show off our seemingly wonderful life. I do not want anyone to read this and feel envious of us, nor do I want to be pitied. We are so excited (and at times nervous) about this process, but it is not without months of heartache that we have arrived at this place. It continues to be a daily (and sometimes hourly) struggle to give our future up to what God has planned. Again, it is my hope that by reading this, someone will be encouraged just as you all have encouraged us so very much with your interest and positive comments.
Today's post is just an overview of the whole process and the many, many steps we have taken and will be taking.
1.Preliminary Application, Informational Meeting
Back in January we decided we may as well start doing something about the nudge God was giving us, and we filled out a preliminary application to sign up for the next evening informational meeting on domestic infant adoption with Bethany Christian Services in Fresno.
2. Seminar
In mid-March we attended that meeting in which they told us the next step is to attend a day-long seminar in Modesto, the next of which just happened to be that following Friday. We didn't want to wait two more months for the one after that to come around, so we got things straightened out and attended the March seminar the next week.
We left the seminar with a much greater understanding of adoption, specifically open adoption, and a list of things to complete in order to submit our formal application.
3. Formal Application
We took about two months to complete our application. It included all of our basic information, a financial statement (how much we make and how we spend every bit of it), and a spiritual questionnaire among other things. After that, they contacted our references (thanks again, everyone!) and scheduled our intake interview.
4. Intake Interview
Sean and I sat down together with two ladies from the agency for this interview. They asked us lots of questions from things like "How does your family feel about this decision?" to "What are your thoughts on discipline?" After the interview, they gave us an even larger packet of paperwork to complete.
5. Family Assessment
This paperwork includes, among other things, being Live Scan fingerprinted 3 times, having our doctors sign off that we are healthy and would make good parents, being certified in first aid and CPR (not, as I have discovered, just doing the little class at the hospital which is only CPR and does not even provide certification), having a will in progress and people named to take our children in the case of our deaths, and many, many, many more (open-ended) questions about our personalities, childhoods, marriage, and feelings about adoption and open adoption.
Whew! So that's what we're working on now. When this paperwork is all turned in we will start in on the following steps:
- Individual Interviews
- Home Visit - They check our house for hazards, etc. This will complete our Home Study and we will then be certified foster parents. We are not in a fost-adopt program, but we will legally be foster parents for the first 6 months that we have our baby.
- Profile - This is where we put together photos and information about ourselves for potential birth mothers to look at and possibly ask to meet with us.
It is a lot of work that we are happy to do knowing each step is one step closer to having our baby; however, I can't help but wonder what the world would be like if every person was put through such a process before becoming a parent.
Thanks for reading! I hope that provided a better understanding of how the process works.
